Day 30: Test of mettle

After 3 days of tailwinds, there was a change in the wind and it blew from the west with a vengeance. It was cold, hard work, the rain was blowing in my face and the wind was holding me back. It was worst around the lakes, where the wind could pick up over the water.

After just 38km I stopped at a restaurant for lunch and sat there shivering until a giant plate of steaming spaghetti meatballs arrived.

Then back out into the miserable weather. The spots of drizzle pierced my face and eyes like tiny needles. The endless stream of trucks zoomed past, whipping up storms of road water and grit. Trucks going in my direction gave me a few seconds of tailwind. Trucks going the other way gave me a galeforce headwind.

I don't think I enjoyed any part of the ride today. I kept telling myself 'just another 7km and you're halfway there', then 'just another 15km and you're two thirds of the way there', and so on. Every kilometre was a test of mental strength. Do I give up and try to hitch a lift? I fantasised all afternoon about getting in a warm pickup truck and being driven the rest of the way, telling myself it wouldn't be cheating because my hands, feet and face were numb, my thighs and knees were sore and the thought of another 100m was torture, let alone another 40km.

But I never stuck my thumb out. I don't think it was a matter of pride or a fear of cheating that stopped me, but the fear of rejection. If you feel like there's another way out - like you have a choice - then the pain is bearable. If you try to use that way out and then find it isn't an option, the pain might not be bearable any more.

After a very long stretch of straight flat road that took me nearly two hours, I was feeling my lowest. Then I saw two cyclists coming the other way! I stopped to chat and they cheered me up. I felt warmer and more able to tackle the last few hills after that. 

Two more hills and a diversion later I had clocked 96km and arrived in Marathon to knock on Annique and Jeanluc's front door. After a shower, dinner and cider, I'm almost back to normal, although pretty exhausted. Thankfully the forecast is for some sun tomorrow!